Pee-wee Herman Gives Me the Creeps

The eternally creepy Pee-wee Herman is coming to Broadway and I have never been less excited. As a kid, I was never a Pee-wee's Playhouse fan — Jambi the Genie freaked me out (a floating head!) and I could never bring myself to like Pee-wee. Even before I knew Paul Reubens was arrested for exposing himself in an adult movie theater he always seemed weird. His face was too powdery and his laugh was annoying. I do have to give him some credit as an actor though — his performance in Blow was actually very good.

Looking back at the shows we all watched as kids, most of them were pretty odd. Gullah Gullah Island, The Big Comfy Couch, The Wiggles, Blues Clues — I dare you to watch one of these shows now (Although I did love Blues Clues and always wanted to "Blue Skadoo" into a picture just like Steve). For a super-trippy show that kids are watching today, try Yo Gabba Gabba. Something about grown adults and a big yellow tadpole named "Binyah Binyah," just doesn't sit well with me. (He still doesn't look like a tadpole to me.)

After recounting my childhood for a bit and excluding the aforementioned shows, I can say that they just don't make them like they used to. Hey Arnold, Rugrats, As Told By Ginger andPB&J Otter: These are the shows I would much rather see on Broadway. Who wouldn't want to see Helga Pataki pining over Arnold's microscopic hat in her shrine dedicated to the "football head?" Or seeing the Rugrats not only All Growed Up but live on Broadway? I'd feel a lot more comfortable reliving my childhood in a way that didn't involve a 58-year-old Reubens prancing around scaring a new generation of children.