Storage Wars

Hoarders beware: Be sure to pay the rent on your storage unit if you've got items of sentimental value tucked away. After three months of space without pay, the contents of your locker will be auctioned away.

The zippy new series Storage Wars on A&E follows four ambitious men as they shell out a day's paycheck to discover the gold beneath other people's forgotten storage bins. "It's like being a pirate," one anonymous buyer coos, eager to unveil the contents of his newly purchased locker. "You're always looking for buried treasure!" But this task proves more difficult than it seems, as the unit to be auctioned cannot be scavenged for valuables. Instead, buyers have five minutes to inspect the storage unit without stepping inside. An awareness of antiques (or keen foraging instincts) proves to be worthy against bidding adversaries.

Some have been at this game for several decades and have prospered from it. Confident bidder Darrel Sheets (coined "The Gambler" in the series' opening credits, though he seems to be anything but) invites viewers into his home, boastful of the fortunes he's uncovered at previous auctions. Inside the home is a hodge-podge of furniture solely from findings. Two framed sketches are the most prolific among his many items, which he claims are authentic Picasso works.

Sheet's chief competitor arrives with several grand ready in cash. He's got an eye for high-ticket items and a bite worse than his bark. Dave Hester, "The Mogul," is the pitbull among all bidders. Less-seasoned bidders crumble under Dave's persistent offers, and no one gets in his way.

Another veteran collector Barry Weiss, appropriately dubbed "The Collector," has no shame in hiring a little person to get a closer look into storage containers. He bids on units other people would cast off and ultimately makes a profit for it. In the two episodes alone, he stumbled upon $11,000 worth of overlooked boxes. He bids on a hunch, and so far it's been working out for him.

The most regular of the bunch is a newcomer to the bidding world. Seeking fresh inventory for his thrift store, Jarrod Schulz, "The Rookie," is finding anything but. He has a penchant for buying vehicles that don't run and junk so obviously abandoned, all to his wife Brandi's chagrin.

Even without the harebrained schemes to liven bidding, the show would be engaging. Perhaps not Emmy-award winning, but it's fascinating to watch one man's waste truly become another man's profit, and the lengths bidders will go to earn one. Though the dynamics between the usual bidders will soon become tiresome, what can keep a person hooked are the potential mysteries to be found within discarded heaps of garbage.

The opening scenes span across two billion square feet of storage-unit space. Not a word is spoken about all the poor people who have lost their possessions, nor is there a hint to economic distresses that have caused the storage industry to boom. But what we do see are men cutthroat and thoughtless enough to profit from another's misfortune, and that makes for damn good television.